Grandma

My grandma, Mildred Carnot, passed away last night after a long battle with Alzheimer's Disease. She was eighty years old. She is survived by her mother, sister, three children, three grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

When I was growing up my grandparents lived in Sherman Oaks in a two bedroom house they built themselves in the early 1950's. Their home always felt like a second home to me. I could probably build a cardboard replica of their house I knew it so well. Down to the magnolia tree in the front yard, the sycamore tree in the backyard, the rose bushes the bordered the front windows, the hydrangea plant that screened the neighbor's door, the banana bushes on the side of the house, the tomato plants and zucchini bushes in the garden in the summer, the lime tree, the brick patio that defined the back courtyard, the real stone fireplace that covered an entire 12 foot wall in the den, the green 50's tile that covered the kitchen counters, the bathtub in the "kid's bath," and the dual sided furnace heater that heated the entire house.

I have so many fond memories of spending time with my grandparents. My parents would drop my brother and I off for weekend visits quite often. Also, we would spend one week every summer with my grandparents at their vacation home in Yosemite.

My grandmother was an amazing cook. My two favorite dishes were her buttermilk pancakes and her chicken matzo ball soup. However, she made much more elaborate meals for family gatherings. Basically there wasn't ever anything she made that I didn't want to eat.

My grandma taught me many things. She loved card games- pinochle, war, bridge, hearts, and gin rummy. She was an avid golfer and tennis player. She had an extreme fondness for animals. She sewed and knitted. Best of all, my grandma was fun loving and innovative in her approach to entertaining us grandkids. I remember one summer when my grandparents had purchased a new Maytag washer and dryer. Grandma let us decorate the boxes the machines came in and we slept in them one night out on her back patio. When we were in Yosemite she was constantly coming up with art projects that used either fallen tree wood or stones from the river. It was in Yosemite that she taught me how to knit and where I had started to knit a baby blanket for my cousin that is now 16 years old. I never finished the blanket, but I still have the squares I started then, and I still remember how to knit.

I last saw my grandma at her assisted living home about a week ago. It was so sad to see her at the end of her life, totally unable to move or think. I visited her that day with my mom, my great-grandma (her mom) and my 15 month old son. My mom was calm and collected, my great-grandma wanted to sit by the bed and hold her hand, my son walked around the room wanting to touch all of the electronics, and I sat in a chair and cried uncontrollably. I couldn't even say goodbye. It has been a long, difficult journey to see my grandmother deteriorate the way she has over the last 10 years.

My son has been an amazing life force during this difficult time. He is so full of life and love and joy. He seems so unaffected by the sadness that surrounds him. Perhaps the most precious moments though are to see my mom with him and to know that my son will get to know his grandma the way I got to know mine.

Kari Ann Hong, DDS
1000 Newbury Road, Suite 190
Thousand Oaks, CA 91320
www.familycaredentists.com